papa remembered

I really miss papa..i think he has influenced me in a way i cannot explain..the year and a half that he was in my life was incredible...he loved this farm all the animals..it was the simple things in life he loved..but he especially loved his family....now that the farm looks better than it has in a long time, i just wish papa could see it..sometimes when i am washing dishes or fixing something to eat i look out the window and just say a little something to papa...or look at my plant that he gave me a clipping from...it isn't a clipping anymore it is pretty big in size...the older i get the more family members are passing away and you just need to cherish the moments while they last...i met papa when he was sick with alzhemiers and he was a hoot before he got really sick but i just know he was even funnier when he didn't have that horrible disease...just days before papa died i was going to athens to get reagan (our dog) and cole, jameson and i went in to see him before we left...he said he was going to build us a pin for the dog.. it seemed like he was his old self that day..it was a really good visit..he talked to cole a little bit and i was really happy leaving the nursing home going to athens...i thought man he acting like himself, i was so happy about the way things were that day..but when i got back from athens he wasn't doing well at all..he was sleeping that day and i woke him up cause i really wanted to just let him know we would be gone a few days..i am so glad i did wake him up cause that was the last time i saw him... the night he died david wanted me to go to the nursing home to say my goodbyes but i had realized that was his goodbye to me that day when he was his old self wanting to build that pin for the dog....and playing around with cole....

i know when we move from this farm house i will be sad cause i remember alot of things about papa....cause looking out that kitchen window brings memories to me... you could always watch papa feeding the geese or riding around the farm to check things out or just sitting on those rocks fishing...or friday nights when we all go out to eat and he would have that after shave on smelling like a cleaned up man..i could go on and on.....so today i wanted to just say i miss you papa...dearly....